[1]. Get started with some funny stories

I'm taking part in an online reading course, and teacher wants us to create a blog and post something on this. So that I think some funny stories must be a good beginning to make myself more comfortable when coming back with English.
[1].
Mr.Knott is a teacher of a school in London. It's a long way to his school from his house so he is usually tired when he gets home.
One day, he got home, was tired as uasual. He was in bed when someone called him. He went downstairs, picked up the phone and said,
' Hello. Who's speaking. please?'
- Watt.
- What's your name, sir?
- Watt's my name.
- Yes, I asked you that. What's your name?
- I told you. Watt's my name. Are you Jack Smith?
- No, I'm Knott.- Will you give me your name, please?
- Will Knott.
Both the men hanged up the phone angrily and thought "What a stupid, rude man."
[2.]
A man came home from work, sat down in his favorite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife,
"Quick, bring me a beer before it starts"
She looked a little puzzled, but brought him a beer.When he finished it, he said,
"Quick, bring me another beer. It's gonna start"
This time she looked a little angry, but brought him a beer.When it was gone, he said,
"Quick, get me a beer before it starts."
"That's it!"
She blows her top,"You bastard! You waltz in here, flop your fat ass down, don't even say hello to me and then expect me to run around like your slave getting you beer after beer. Don't you realize that I cook and clean and wash and iron all day long ????
"The husband sighed and said " Oh, shit , It started"